Freedom from the fear of disapproval by others.
Part of my own healing, growth and Self-reclamation as a Recovering People Pleaser is to be comfortable with being disapproved of by others. Not only the disapproval of others but the acceptance of my own character flaws.
I have walked around all my life with a dominant story of ‘ I have done something wrong’ it had nothing to do with anything I would have done at the moment. It made me want to hide and I did. Parts of myself are still hidden in this journey of healing.
Bethany Webster in her book ‘ Discovering the Inner Mother’ talks about the freedom that comes with being comfortable with being misunderstood. She says it frees us from needing to maintain an image of ourselves to others.
Humility is touted as a virtue to be pursued by everyone, I am learning that the posture of humility is not for everyone. That it is sometimes tied to the politics of respectability for the sake of survival. Be careful who your role models are, ensure that their example is tied to your destiny. Everyone has their own journey and it is tied to a specific personality.
It took rebellion against respectability to make Muhammad Ali a champion, how dare he speak like that! seek to call himself and strive to be ‘The Greatest’?
It took MamWinnie Mandela’s disobedience to keep the name of Tata Mandela alive, when respectability politics would have approved of her living a quiet life as a married woman should.
Freedom comes at a great price. Visibility comes at a price, be cool with being misunderstood, being disapproved of, being flawed.