At some stage you need to divest yourself from needing to prove anything to anyone. You need to step away from showing anyone that you are not whatever or that you are whatever. You need to stop performing and start living your life, stepping into your greatness, fulfilling your life’s calling.
You need to set boundaries not to punish others but to protect yourself. You need to make that money, get that degree, get that promotion, buy that car, make that business work not so that you can prove anything to anyone, even those who believe in you, that you can. Do it for you because you are worthy. Your approval of yourself is enough.
Toni Morisson quote below says
‘The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary. There will always be one more thing.’
Toni Morrison
Not just Racism but patriarchy as well for Black women. At some point you have to stop trying to prove you are good enough for that position or company, you will have to stop proving that you are wife material or a perfect mother. It’s a distraction, go about the business of building your life, smashing your goals, stepping into your powerful self.
Whose gaze are you performing your life for?
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Black Women in the Workplace 