In one of my previous lives I ran an academic program that has a lot of verbal on the spot feedback to students. I always reflected with compassion how hard it must be for some of the students to take the feedback.
Because your results do not always reflect the hard work you put in, you can work really hard using the wrong strategy. Your results will not reflect your hard work, it will reflect the incorrectness of your strategy.
As a result I have compassion on my coaching clients when they argue for their limitations. Or for those potential clients who know that coaching is for them but keep giving themselves excuses as to why they shouldn’t sign up.
It is hard to recognise that what you have been doing, what you have put so much work on is not working. We would much rather be right than progress. We would rather settle for mediocre results rather than acknowledge that what and how we’ve been doing things is not working.
Because we are afraid that acknowledging that we are wrong will annihilate us. It will annihilate our confidence in our abilities. It will disintegrate our fragile confidence and we are afraid that we will not survive that.
So we rather settle for the thorn in our shoe. Hoping that if we walked skewed enough, we can feel comfortable enough to keep going.
Have compassion for the parts of you that resist change. Love and accept them and allow them to be with awareness. This will allow them trust you enough to allow the requisite feedback that facilitates change.
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Black Women in the Workplace 