Why did I give myself this experience?
A friend was telling me that they used to work under this ‘toxic’ manager, their experience was so traumatic that they developed a lifestyle disease and even now years later, their health is still weakened from the effect of that trauma.
However in the same breath, they also told me how much they have learned from this manager. How skilled they had become under this person’s leadership. Skills that are still making them money to this day.
Another, on a coaching session was telling me how much they had been exploited in their working experience. However, now that they are ready to value themselves, they value how those experiences showed them how competent they are, and where to focus their personal development efforts.
People who treat us badly are responsible for their actions. We didn’t need to be treated badly to learn what we’ve learned, we could have learned the same lessons from being affirmed.
However it is hugely disempowering to see ourselves as their victim. The more empowering thought is the realisation that we gave ourselves that experience in order to get closer and closer to who we want to become.
Instead of a woe is me victim attitude. A more empowering attitude is to accept that we are always dealing with ourselves. The question to ask yourself becomes; why you would give yourself this experience? What is the gift you are giving yourself?
Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
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