Are you willing to acknowledge that you are bad at this?
One of the reasons why we do not allow ourselves to do, be and have what it takes to get to the next level of leadership, impact and income, is our fragility with acknowledging our areas of incompetence.
We hold the false belief that if we are bad at something, that’s who we are, we will be bad at it forever and as a result are not worthy.
When faced with the reality of our falling short of what it takes to get to the next level, we resort to either of these three reactions
⁃ We become victims, we blame others for not acknowledging our competence, while doing nothing about it except complain.
⁃ We refuse to find out – we avoid critical feedback, we lie to ourselves and surround ourselves with people who will only agree with us and never truly hold the mirror to us.
⁃ We identify with and catastrophise these weaknesses – I’m a failure, I’m not a go getter, I lack the confidence, I’m not a negotiator, etc implying that this is a permanent condition. Although this might look like an honest self assessment but it’s actually despondency and absolves us of the responsibility to make a change.
In one episode of the Daily show, I’m not sure if it was Mrs World or Miss Universe was teaching Trevor Noah how to belly dance. Trevor was really bad at it and was visibly vulnerable.
What was powerful about that moment is that he was confident enough to be willing to try something he wasn’t good at, be bad at it in public and still be able to keep showing up confidently.
Confident people are not good at everything, they know what they don’t know and are willing to look stupid while learning, without losing their sense of self worth.
The truth is that the reason why you are not where you want to be is that you lack certain competencies that are a requirement for success in that level.
Acknowledging your incompetence and acquiring the skill is going to be uncomfortable, you are going to be bad at it and look stupid for a while before you are good and that should be okay.
Are you willing to acknowledge that you are bad at this?
Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
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