When are you planning to set that Respectable Good Girl free?
One of the offspring of the sexism for women is the Good Girl archetype. The woman who does things according to the rules, works the hardest, who is always ready to please. For Black women, this archetype is compounded by politics of respectability.
In this context the politics of respectability is the behaviour that our ancestors used to perform during slavery and colonialism. Where they ‘toed the line’ with the hope that this would protect them from the consequences of rebellion. This was part of the reason some of them left their traditional practices and adopted Christianity.
What we learn from the study of epigenetics is that trauma and its responses can be passed on from generation to generation. Some of the ingrained behaviours that we exhibit does not have to have anything to do with what we have experienced but as a result of memories in our DNA.
Just like our ancestors learned the hard way that respectability will not protect you from the violence of oppression. Good Girls are learning that their respectability will not protect them from the adverse effects of racism and sexism.
That you can be the hardest working, you can tick all the boxes and more and still don’t get the promotion, still be the least paid and still be pushed out.
Part of decolonising and healing ourselves from healing the effects of sexism is to find out who we would have been or we could be if we didn’t have to be ‘good’. If we didn’t have to perform for the approval of others. Is to realise that the Universe does not reward good behaviour. That it rewards our knowing, our being not our performance.
Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
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