Do you have to be a superstar?
I once had a chance encounter with a stranger who turned out to be an astrologer. After sharing my plans for the near future she says to me: “Please do not fall into the trap that women who didn’t ‘achieve’ the marriage and the family requirement fall into; that they have to be superstars to prove that they are not a failure.” I was taken aback, is it possible that that’s what I was doing?
I was never taught that I have had to be ten times better to get half as much. I just felt that way when I entered the professional world. As someone who was always visible and affirmed for being smart, I was suddenly invisible. The only way it seemed possible for me to go back to feeling adequate was that I needed to be a superstar; which I never could do.
I don’t know if you’ve had the experience of wanting to achieve something and suddenly every second person you meet seems to be doing the same thing. I felt that when I went into coaching and I’ve been going through that with my current goal of becoming an author. Suddenly everyone I meet is a writer and every second book I come across is on the same subject.
What helps me overcome this trap is a quote I learned from Denise Duffelthomas that she offers to coaches who feel they don’t have enough to offer or that their offerings are not unique enough. It says: ‘I’m not a guru, I contribute.’
If you like me have absorbed the lie that to count you have to be a superstar, a guru. I want you to know that it is okay to be a contributor. You don’t have to be the next Einstein, even he built on the works of his predecessors. You are enough.
Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
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