Are you sure that’s not for you?
I recently completed the hardest hike of my life. It was a group hike and I was so challenged, I got mad.I am a fairly active person but when I jog or hike alone(which is most of the time) I challenge myself only to the boundaries of my comfort levels. Because I had to keep up in a group I had to push harder than I thought possible for me. This allowed me to expand the boundaries of my performance and my jogging pace and endurance has since improved.
I realised that I avoid pain. I tried to structure my life such that it is as painless as possible. I isolated myself from close relationships and became emotionally unavailable to insulate myself from pain. I tried to even do entrepreneurship without the growing pains associated with the experience. That hike made me realise than I can tolerate a higher level of pain and discomfort than I’ve been allowing myself to.
In my coaching consultations I talk to Black women who have decided that certain things are not for them because they are too hard. Some will say I don’t want to be an executive because I observe my boss and it looks too hard. Or I can’t do that advanced degree because it will be too hard.
The fun I have as a coach is helping my clients push the boundaries of what they think they can achieve, and how much growing pains they can tolerate. It’s fulfilling to see someone do with ease in a few weeks what was really hard to do just weeks ago.
I love India Arie song lyrics on this issue:
‘Child it’s time to break the shell,
Life’s going to hurt but it’s meant to be felt
You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself
A bird cannot fly until it breaks the shell’
Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
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