Conflict avoidant are you?
In the book: ‘Rage becomes her’;Soraya Chemaly documents women’s interesting relationship with anger. One could even say that it is a similar relationship that men have with emotions other than anger. She writes that in some instances women turn to sadness rather than anger.
Our complicated relationship with anger and conflict stems from our socialisation. Good girls do not demonstrate anger, good Christian girls turn the other cheek. This is further complicating by the trope of the angry Black women. Which leads to any act of self advocacy being interpreted as aggression. Resulting in mental gymnastics when we have to communicate our anger.
The other extreme is the devaluation of your worth such that people assume you will take the abuse without getting or showing anger. Some women indicated that they are so out of touch with their anger such that they often surprise themselves with the extent of their anger once they decide to finally communicate it.
The work for Black women leaders and aspiring leaders in the workplace is to be aware of their relationship with their anger. So they are intentional in how they manage conflict in the workplace in alignment with their brand. Avoiding defaulting to extremes of suppression, outbursts and constantly speaking out.
Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place
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