Are you hungover?
I am fascinated by the power of language. That you can have a feeling that you don’t understand and when you come across the name for it. Suddenly you understand it but not only that, you don’t feel so alone. You feel seen, part of a community of those who have felt the same way.
This happened for me when I came across the word vulnerability hangover while reading Dr Brene Brown’s work. A vulnerability hangover is the uncomfortable feeling that you get after you have shared something personal. When you feel exposed often to the point of regret.
There’s another hangover though. The uncomfortable feeling you get after you’ve set a boundary for the first few time. Or is it every time? It feels uncomfortable, almost wrong. Especially if the person you have set the boundary with reacted negatively, which is most of the time. You are almost tempted to apologise, to retract.
Should that happen to you I hope that you know that uncomfortable feeling doesn’t mean that you have done something wrong and that you should take it back. I hope that you have the courage to sit with the uncomfortable emotions. I hope that you have the tools to regulate your disregulated nervous system.
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Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?
My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place
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