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Hiding in plain sight

In our quest to reach the next level of leadership income and impact we have a lot of unlearning to do. One of the things we need to unlearn is the reluctance to speak about our accomplishments.We need to be less modest.

I have the opportunity due to my work with Black women to speak with a lot of them for the first time. You would think it would be easier to speak about your career achievements with a career coach but it is still hard.

I empathise, we have lived most of our lives being rewarded for hiding. We have been praised for being humble and have been shamed when we center ourselves. We come from a culture where you never talk about your value. Your work must speak for itself and someone else must be the voice.

You can learn to speak about your accomplishments in a way that is tasteful. It will obviously feel uncomfortable at first but you can learn and learn eventually you will get comfortable. It is sad to lose opportunities just because you didn’t speak up. Just because people don’t know what you can do or just needed reminding.

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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

Who benefits from this perspective?

It is often said that money and sex are the two topics people most avoid talking about. I would like to add race as the third one. I am fascinated at how people avoid talking about race. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the sentence ‘not every thing is about race’. You can have a whole DEI conversation, policy, strategy that avoids the race issue altogether.

I get it it’s a triggering topic. For White people it triggers shame, anger and fatigue. Black people avoid talking about the subject because they know it triggers white fragility as DeAngelo puts it which comes with a price. We also have been trained to center the comfort of white people.

So it sits there as an elephant in the room that is filling up all the space and we are scrambling to fit in the little space that’s left. Well someone has to take the first bite of this elephant otherwise it’s going to keep taking up the whole room.

We need to build our resilience and courage to tackle the race topic head on. Some white people would love it if we never spoke about race because they get to keep their comfort. However they get to keep victimising Black people unintentionally or not without being held accountable. Who benefits from their fragility? Who benefits when we avoid talking about race?

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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Enrol now for any of my free webinars :

• Promotion webinar: https://blackwomenintheworkplace.thinkific.com/courses/POSITION-YOURSELF-FOR-A-PROMOTION-FREE-WEBINAR
• Next level webinar: https://blackwomenintheworkplace.thinkific.com/courses/YOUR-NEXT-LEVEL-OF-LEADERSHIP-INCOME-AND-IMPACT

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

An outsider in?

The truth is that as people with a marginalised identity we find ourselves as outsider in Eurocentric workplaces and educational institutions.

In my work and personal experience in higher education I find that part of the challenges that students have are due to the fact that they are outsiders in this space. The culture, the language, the content, the examples used in education are removed from the daily experience and way of being such that the student has to constantly orient themselves to a different world. Not only that they have to constantly give themselves permission to belong, to be worthy of success.

Similarly in the workplace the one thing Black women often complain about is that advancement in the workplace seems to be counter to authenticity. It seems to be about assimilation to whiteness and catering to power. I do remember how in my early days in corporate I used to envy the ease and belonging that my white colleagues seemed to move about the space while I was dealing with getting to grips with the culture before we even get to the actual work I was employed for.

As much as we have the responsibility to integrate ourselves and give ourselves the permission to belong. These spaces need to negotiate a new culture of inclusivity and belonging for all its members.

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Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Enrol now for any of my free webinars :

• Promotion webinar: https://blackwomenintheworkplace.thinkific.com/courses/POSITION-YOURSELF-FOR-A-PROMOTION-FREE-WEBINAR
• Next level webinar: https://blackwomenintheworkplace.thinkific.com/courses/YOUR-NEXT-LEVEL-OF-LEADERSHIP-INCOME-AND-IMPACT

The danger of the myth of meritocracy

Meritocracy is the belief that, in a given system, success is an indicator of personal deservingness is a myth that we all would love to believe is the reality. It gives us comfort that if we meet the criteria then we are guaranteed success. On the other hand those who did not make it did not meet the criteria.

The problem is that this myth does not take into account the systemic barriers that people with marginalised identities face that makes this simple ‘fair’ criteria unreachable. What buying into this myth does is victim blaming. It puts the shame of failure on the same victim who has been failed by the system.

It points the finger at the millions of young people who do not have a university degree because they didn’t have money to study, or the million others who dropped out of varsity because the poor education system did not prepare them for the demands of work. It blames the Black women who is stuck in the same position underpaid and not advancing for lacking an unnamed ‘something’.

Are you stuck in shame because of a failure that was as a result of systemic racism and sexism? Have you internalised the shame of that failure because you don’t want to be a victim? It’s time to drop the shame. The accountability belongs elsewhere.

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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

The kind of work that’s valued

In the book Feminism for the 99% the author: Cinzia Arruzza talks about how ‘people making work’ has been assigned to women and not assigned an economic value. People making work would be pregnancy, childcare, housework, emotional caregiving, etc. The value of this work is made clear now that more women are working and competing for the same leadership positions as men.

A man can dedicate a large percentage of their time to working and studying because they have a wife who is doing most of the people making work at home. While their counterpart who
is a woman is expected to do both.This is one of the causes of burn out and the hesitancy to aim for higher leadership positions for women.

There is an extra burden of unaccounted for work that women are carrying. This also shows up in the workplace where a large percentage of this type of work is given to women – minute taking, the organising of birthdays, emotional care of colleagues, non strategic committee work, etc.

This is the reason why for equity to become a reality; things have to change not only at work but on a more structural level in terms of the valuation of ‘peripheral’ people making work and its assignment to women.

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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

Allyship or Benevolent sexism?

I didn’t have a language for the reason why some men who claim to support women made me uncomfortable. The men who refer to women or their wives queens, better half, the boss who say the right things but their actions and mannerisms give off sexism vibes until I came across the concept of benevolent sexism.

Not everyone who wants claims to be for you is for you. They may intend to support you but their unconscious biases might be a hindrance and can actually cause harm. This is often the case with allies for Black women in the workplace. They may have the best of intentions but they may cause harm.

This happens for an example when a male colleague or boss assumes that a woman who just had a baby wouldn’t want to travel for an important project and goes ahead and removes her from that project. Without asking he won’t know the importance of that project to the advancement of that woman’s career and whether she is willing to prioritise above being with her newborn.

This form of benevolent sexism happens when someone believes and shares their support for Black women but the way they go about it, e.g by not educating themselves, reflecting on their biases, asking questions before taking supportive actions that may cause harm, feeling attacked when they are made accountable from their unintentional harm and seek to be lauded for their allyship are sign of benevolent sexism
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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

Radical self approval

One of the things that build a grounded sense of self worth is radical self acceptance. This happens when you fully embrace who you are, both your strengths and weaknesses. Both what is desirable and undesirable about you.This is where you put your stake on the ground and say this is who I am. This is what you get when you deal with me. I hope you like it, I’m sorry if you don’t.

This doesn’t mean that you are not open to a change in perspective, that’s when you stop learning and growing. It does meanthough that instead of wasting your time working on your weaknesses, you focus on owning and exploiting your strengths. You amplify what you do best instead of wishing you could be like someone else. This is when you stop hustling for approval.

This also applies to the things about you that you might not necessarily like but can’t change. Like aging, your body type, etc. Since there will always be someone who finds that particular thing attractive, that person might as well be you.

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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

Working with people you don’t like?

What do you do when you have to work with someone you don’t like? What do you do when you have a fundamental disagreement with someone you have to work closely with like your boss?How are you be able to work with them without totally disengaging?

One of my favourite quotes by Maya Angelou says that if you don’t like something change it and if you can’t, change the way you look at it. This is also called reframing. In NLP we were taught that the mind categorises things and people as either pleasurable or unpleasant and changing compulsive behaviour is about changing the categorisation in your mind.

In this case you would want to reframe how you view that person by doing the following three things
• Be empathetic – try to understand what the drivers and pressures are that makes this person act that way?
• Understand their worldview and values. The person might be deeply religious or traditional for an example and that may explain why they see things that way
• Entertain their point of view for a moment, could they be right? Is there something you might be missing or learn from it?

This exercise might not make you fall in love with the person but it will definitely create a shift that will probably allow you to be able to at least stand being in their presence.

Share your strategies: How do you work with people you don’t like?

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My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

Are you marking those milestones?

One of humanity’s greatest strength is adaptability. We all are potentially able to adapt to any set of circumstances or environment. This can be both good and not so good. You want to be able to adapt to difficult circumstances that life once in a while allots even the most privileged of us. You also don’t want to adapt to and build a permanent home in that environment.

Another way that this adaptability trait can be disadvantageous is when we have so adapted to what was once a great accomplishment to the extent that we not only minimise it but destroy its value in our eyes. We risk loosing the confidence that comes from knowing that we can accomplish hard things.

I see this with some of my coaching clients, who because they are not where they want to be sometimes fail to appreciate their current level of success. Fail to appreciate that they are now doing with ease what used to seem impossible before. They fail to reap the confidence that comes from knowing what they are capable of, from their accomplishments.

Are you marking your milestones? Do you periodically look back and see how far you’ve come? I do this by browsing through my old journals. On days when I feel discouraged, they help me mark my milestones. How do you mark your milestones?

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Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:

Why change now?

I never was one to stay in the same position for longer than 3 years. I love taking on a new challenge. The learning and figuring things out process,creating or fixing something is something I love to do. I do not fear change, I am stimulated by it – within reason though. There is a thing as too much change.

I also admire people who can stay. Who can keep working in the same company for years. I do think that the stability allows you to make a significant impact and to reap the rewards of consistent career progression and financial stability. However there is such a thing as staying too long, when you are stuck in a comfort zone.

It is easier to do nothing when you haven’t done anything for too long and you have built tolerance for stagnancy. But at some point you have to stop procrastinating and make a move. At some point you have to make what is important – your career growth – urgent. At some point you have to stop waiting for a convenient time and make the change right now.

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Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

My name is Busisiwe Hlatswayo and I coach Black women to position themselves for leadership, navigate race and gender bias and be effective leaders in the workplace and the market place

For a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Consultation: https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

Enrol now for any of my free webinars :

• Promotion webinar: https://blackwomenintheworkplace.thinkific.com/courses/POSITION-YOURSELF-FOR-A-PROMOTION-FREE-WEBINAR
• Next level webinar: https://blackwomenintheworkplace.thinkific.com/courses/YOUR-NEXT-LEVEL-OF-LEADERSHIP-INCOME-AND-IMPACT