Change is breaking an addiction

Changing is breaking an addiction

For us to up-level we need to change. What brought you here definitely cannot get you there. One of the reason that change is so difficult is because change requires a breaking down of an addiction. An addiction/ a habit that is being who we are

Who we currently are is not just a habit but an addiction. Science tells us that when we think a thought, a chemical concoction is sent to our bodies to feel the feeling that is aligned with that thought.

Through repetition that thought becomes a belief, the feeling – the chemical concoction becomes an addiction such that the body demands it from the minThe mind in order to send the chemical concoction that the body craves thinks the thought, it then becomes a loop. This loop in turn determines our behaviour, our habitual response to that trigger.

Changing then requires breaking that habit, the mind no longer thinking the thought and the body not receiving the chemical fix.

That is why transformation that doesn’t involve the body often fails. When focus on our change interventions only at a cognitive/mind level. We live out an important ingredient to transformation the body, the emotions, the feeling.

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Free Webinar – Your Next Level of Leadership, Income and Impact

Hey Black Women in Leadership

Are you ready for the next level leadership, income and impact?

There is a Formula for Achieving the Next Level You and I am sharing it in this webinar

Join me in this 60 minutes webinar where I will share the formula for achieving the next level of leadership, impact and income.

I have analysed what it takes to succeed both from the results that I have achieved, what my clients have achieved and research both scientific and anecdotal and I am sharing them here.

If you have been wondering what it really takes to achieve your intentions so you can become the Next Level You.

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Once you register I will send you the Zoom Link.

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Change happens first at the identity level

Change happens first at an identity level

Just like the buildings we occupy, the cars we drive, the clothes we wear had to be envisioned and confirmed in someone’s mind before it became a reality so it is with the things we want to achieve.

We have to first see ourselves as people who can achieve them. Our intentions have to be so locked in conviction that reality has to follow. I’ve seen it with things I’ve accomplished and with things I didn’t.

I wanted to be a Chartered Accountant, I studied BCom. I fell along the way, not because I wasn’t capable – there are people who have obtained that qualification that I used to assist back in Uni.

and of course there are physical circumstances that explains why I didn’t become a CA but the biggest factor was that I couldn’t envision myself as a CA. I felt unworthy, I believed that people like me, who came from where I come from couldn’t achieve that.

The same thing almost happened with obtaining the MBA. I almost left my studies on two occasions. What was different though was that the intention was stronger. The agreement was at an identity and or energy level.

It didn’t make it a smooth ride. I had to dig deep to finish my dissertation. However the achievements thereof had become inevitable. The decision was made at an identity level. I was already a person who had earned a Master’s degree. It was done.

So it is with the next level of income, of impact of leadership or whatever it is you want to achieve. You have to become it before you achieve it

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Is your Company Ready for a Black Women Leader?

Is your company ready for a Black Woman Leader?

Mrs Nolitha Fakude in her book the Boardroom Dancing narrates an incident she encountered during her first few meetings as a CSuite executive. One of the executives made a point of forgetting to print a copy of his presentation for her on 3 occasions. On the first one she assumed it was a mistake, on the second she was so angry she didn’t follow much of that meeting and on the 3rd she finally spoke up and the CEO instructed that the presentation stop and a copy be organised for her there and then.

Now these are some of the encounters that Black Women in Leadership face on a day to day. They may not be much when taken individually, however they are happen all the time. Such that it becomes a death by a thousand paper cuts for these women. Going to work becomes a ritual of armouring, preparing for battle. You can imagine the burn out that comes with leading in such an environment

The question then becomes, as an organisation; what preparations do you make before you promote a Black Women into leadership? What are the land mines in your Corporate Culture that she might step on? What have you put in place to mitigate those risks, to create a psychological safe environment for her to thrive?

At Black Women in the Workplace we are about helping Companies create cultures where Black Women Leaders can thrive and when Black Women as the most marginalised identity thrives, everyone thrives.

Click below to book a Discovery Call and let’s do the work

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The Power of your Intentions

The Power of your Intention

Intention is like a goal or a prayer, a wish or a hope. However, an intention is stronger than all these. An intention evokes our Self-sovereignty – the Divinity, the Creator in us.

An intention shatters the illusion of separateness from the Divine. An intention denies a Divinity that is separate from us, that we have to beg, impress, get permission from, to get what we want.

An intention is a command, a creation, a calling into reality that which we want to experience.

When we set an intention, we do not ask for permission from the Divine, we do not ask for, or check if it is the will of the Divine. We assume that what we choose for ourselves is what the Divine wants for us

Because we are not separated from the Divine, the Divine is in us, the Divine is us, we are the expression of the Divine.

We acknowledge that our intentions do not come from the human in us but the Divine creativeness that wants to express its expansiveness through our life.

Our intentions are an invitation to experience more of life, expansion, growth. That is the nature of life, of the Divine: to expand, to grow to evolve.

When we are nudged to grow; we don’t ask whether it is the right thing for us, we do not shame ourselves for our ambition. We accept the invitation, we chose it. We live in the inevitability of its manifestation, regardless of what our circumstances look like.

What is the intention that is calling you today?

Now you know, go on and do the work.

My offer for free access to my 5 day workshop is on until the 30th of June.

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Lessons from my goodbyes

Lessons from goodbyes

I have a ministry of goodbyes. I’ve made a number of significant, life changing goodbye’s in my life.

I’ve left the religion I was born in, with that all forms of organised religion. I’ve said goodbye to close family members, including a fiancé I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I’ve changed careers a number of times, I’ve left organisations a few times. Change has been a constant in my life.

This is what I’ve learned.

I’ve learned that the station in life that you are in, is supported by beliefs that you have adopted. Some empowering and some not so empowering. These beliefs define and support who you are, they are comfortable. That’s why change feels so unsafe, it is a form of death. A death of an identity, a way of thinking that we have identified with.

There is always a beautiful reward on the other side of change, new experiences, new people, new ways of being that can be incredibly fulfilling. The hard part, the part that most people would rather stay in places they’ve outgrown rather than face; is the transition.

I don’t blame them, transitioning is hard, it is scary, it feels unsafe, like death, because it is a a form of death. A death of an identity, a way of thinking that we have identified with. A death of who we are, a shedding of our old skin, a leaving of our cocoon, an unplucking of our feathers. A letting go of what’s familiar to allow for the new.

I’ve learned no matter where you are, there is always the next level that is calling to you. It may be the next level of income or position, it can also be a next level of thinking and of being. Regardless, after a while you get a nudge that the time has come for you to move from that which was once good for you to the unknown, the next level. Change is always the next level, even if it’s change from being a CEO to becoming a petrol attendant.

What is it going to be, Beloved?

My offer for free access to my 5 day workshop is on until the 30th of June.

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You are the boss

You are the boss

You are the King of the jungle that is you, You are the Captain of your Sheep, You are the Ruler of Your Universe. Nothing happens in your life until you say yes albeit an unconscious yes but a yes all the same.

You are the only one that can say yes, God, The Divine, Source, The Universe, Your Ancestors, Your higher self whatever you call it/her/him can’t force anything on your life that you deem unsafe for you to have.

‘But I want this’ you say, I have set and intention, I’ve prayed, I’ve visualised, I’ve fasted, I’ve affirmed, I’ve meditated, I’ve journaled but still I don’t have it. I have said yes, but all I get is more of the same

What you might not realise is that you have two governments inside you. The main cabinet and the shadow cabinet. The main is the intender it wants to create, to grow, to win. The shadow is the risk assessor/ the judge/the wounded one, it has the lowest risk appetite, it wants to protect, it wants to keep safe.

It might be the shadow cabinet but it is just as powerful, it will usurp power and take over if the main government is sleeping in the job. Your job is to get these two governments to agree. You have to bring the shadow into the light. Deal with the long list of risks it has identified, release, reassure, reframe. Only when the shadow government is in agreement with the main, can your intentions come to pass.

Now you know, go on and do the work.

My offer for free access to my 5 day workshop is on until the 30th of June.

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Ever the Bridesmaid but never the Bride

Ever the bridesmaid and never the bride

I remember that for a long time in my career I was really good at what I did but I was also a behind the scenes girl. I was ever the bridesmaid but never the bride.

I had great ideas, a hard worker and if you were to ask me. I was really ambitious and wanted a visible leadership position.

But I also didn’t, see I was harbouring beliefs whether conscious or unconscious that it wasn’t safe to be in a visible leadership position.

That the pressure that came with the fear of disapproval, the fear of not being good enough and of what I believed that level of success came with was just too great for me to ‘allow’ myself to attract that into my life.

It was only when I was ready to let go of those beliefs, let go of them enough so I could allow that level of visibility and success to become a reality in my life.

That doesn’t mean however, that there wasn’t any race and gender bias and discrimination that was playing out in my life as a Black Woman. And that those who exercised it were not at fault. It does mean I was participating in that reality based on the beliefs I held to be true.

That’s the reason why we solve the problem of lack of representation and retention of Black Women leaders by not just ‘fixing’ the Black woman, we also need to ‘fix’ the companies she is to work in.

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You are the Leader we’ve been waiting for

You are the Leader we’ve been waiting for

When we have absorbed the belief. That leadership is a ‘type’ and that we are not naturally that ‘type’. That we have to learn how to be that ‘type’ that we have to act as if we are that ‘type’. We will always feel like Imposters, we will always self monitor and self suppress, to avoid making mistakes.

We will always judge ourselves as not good enough, we will always be seeking the next qualification, the next seminar, the next leadership book. We will always question our actions, our decisions, our way of being. ‘Measuring purse against the ‘standard’ that the leadership gods have determined.

What we fail to recognise is that our intuition, the one that is connected to the wisdom and knowledge of all that is. When married with the power of our intentions and the uniqueness of who we are. Knows what is required for every situation we face.

We can do leadership the hard way or we can learn to tap into the unlimited resources of our inner authentic leader. The one who is fully equipped, appropriately designed for the task at hand.

Allow yourself to be supported:

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Surrender to rather than fight for

We may be tempted to believe that the next level leader, the one who makes the creates the next level of impact and earns the next level of income, the one who will leave an enduring legacy; is an ideal outside of who we are right now.

That we have to build her, fight for her, strive for her. The truth is, she already exists and is calling for us to step into her, to surrender to her, to let go of the resistance.

The resistance are the paradigms, beliefs,unhelpful patterns of being; that we have picked up along life’s way. We have to let go of them, not necessarily because they are bad, but because they no longer serve us.

She who we seek is inviting us to step into her. Inviting us to let go of the need to prove that we deserve to be her, the need to write a whole dissertation about why it’s not selfish or unrealistic or irresponsible to want to be her.

This process is both easy and hard. We are equal to the task. We can do hard things and we can do easy things.