When are you planning to set that Respectable Good Girl free?

When are you planning to set that Respectable Good Girl free?

One of the offspring of the sexism for women is the Good Girl archetype. The woman who does things according to the rules, works the hardest, who is always ready to please. For Black women, this archetype is compounded by politics of respectability.

In this context the politics of respectability is the behaviour that our ancestors used to perform during slavery and colonialism. Where they ‘toed the line’ with the hope that this would protect them from the consequences of rebellion. This was part of the reason some of them left their traditional practices and adopted Christianity.

What we learn from the study of epigenetics is that trauma and its responses can be passed on from generation to generation. Some of the ingrained behaviours that we exhibit does not have to have anything to do with what we have experienced but as a result of memories in our DNA.

Just like our ancestors learned the hard way that respectability will not protect you from the violence of oppression. Good Girls are learning that their respectability will not protect them from the adverse effects of racism and sexism.

That you can be the hardest working, you can tick all the boxes and more and still don’t get the promotion, still be the least paid and still be pushed out.

Part of decolonising and healing ourselves from healing the effects of sexism is to find out who we would have been or we could be if we didn’t have to be ‘good’. If we didn’t have to perform for the approval of others. Is to realise that the Universe does not reward good behaviour. That it rewards our knowing, our being not our performance.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

Are you still waiting to exhale?

Are you still waiting to exhale?

Steve Harvey in one of his stand ups tells a joke about the difference between how Black people and White people handle getting fired. The difference is that White peoples are shocked (they might even be expecting a promotion) while Black people aren’t, they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The history of racial oppression has taught generations before us that one had little control over their own life. That their lives could at any moment change for the worst. That struggle was their default with short or long periods of reprieve.

That trauma is woven into how we are socialised. Part of decolonising ourselves is healing our fear of loosing our livelihood, of reverting back to poverty.

This fear is not harmless. It impacts on our ability to be effective in leadership. It holds us back from coming up with radical solutions that will create lasting change. It keeps us from leaning in, creating legacies, daring greatly.

It is time to let that attitude go, to stop holding your breath, to unclench your jaw, it’s time to exhale. It’s time to heal, to create that safety within, so that it is reflected externally. To create positive self-fulfilling prophecies.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

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Are you ready to reclaim your humanity?

Are you ready to reclaim your humanity?

Toni Morrison and other anti-racism writers point out that the oppression of Black people was not so much about what the oppressors thought about Black people but was fundamentally about cheap labour. It was about turning us into beasts of labour, factors of production. It was a process of dehumanisation.

There had to be a process of breaking us, similar to domesticating an animal, removing its wildness, its agency. Making it submit its power to you. Making it find its delight it your approval, serving you and mimicking you.

For Black women the oppression was two fold. The oppression was both in the workplace and at home. At home where our bodies – our labour and wombs were commodified in service to the men in our lives.

The work for us Black people becomes that of self reclamation. Reclaiming our humanness, our agency. Just like that tiger and those two lions that have escaped captivity, claiming their wildness, rebelling against domestication.

Self reclamation also means choosing to do work that pleases you. Work that lights you up. Domestication calls that irresponsible, you are a beast of burden- work. Take pride in your hard work, that is your honour. Loving what you do is for the rebellious and irresponsible.

Part of the work of decolonising ourselves is choosing to claim our agency. The right to be human and to do the work that we love, the work that comes naturally for us. It’s not the privilege of some, it’s our unalienable right – liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

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What will you allow yourself to move from wanting/needing it to choosing it ?

What will you allow yourself to move from wanting/needing it to choosing it ?

The LeanIn 2020 State of Black Women in Corporate America report found Black Women to be the most ambitious of women of all ethnicities and just as ambitious as White men with regards to wanting to be in top leadership positions.

When considering the barriers Black women face to advancing to those positions. It can be tempting to give up even trying.

The most potent barrier though is the belief that it is up to ‘them’. That we need to wait for someone to finally realise that we are worthy. Wanting gives someone else the power to decide.

Choosing, summons the power back yourself. Choosing doesn’t mean walking up to the CEOs office in your company and telling him to move out because you choose this position.

What it means though is choosing that as your destiny and aligning your actions with your choices. It means not eliminating yourself because you are not ready but taking the steps to get yourself ready. Is it Coaching your need ? Get it! Is it a qualification you need? Get it! Is it speaking skills you need? Get them!

It might mean leaving a workplace where advancement seems impossible because of the culture and lack of representation. Or advocating for those opportunities to be created. It might mean moving to a different company, industry, company size or city or country. It might mean starting your own company where you can work yourself up from founder to CEO.

What ever you do, please do not deny yourself what your soul is choosing for you. That may seem to be the responsible thing to do based on your circumstances. However, it is actually irresponsible to not pursue what is calling you, because it is uncomfortable or risky or someone said you can’t.

What do you choose to upgrade from wanting to choosing today?

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

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What are you going to ‘gift’ to yourself in 2023?

What are you going to ‘gift’ to yourself in 2023?

We are living in a time of realisation that giving from an empty cup is not sustainable, that setting yourself on fire – aka burning yourself out – so that others do not freeze does not work, that the oxygen mask has to be firmly in your nose before you can ensure that it is on others, including even those you are responsible for.

So, what are you willing to ‘gift’ to yourself in 2023? I will tell you what I am gifting myself this year. I’m giving myself the gift of healing my body image, moving the goal posts from loosing kilograms to loosing the self hate, the war on my body, the deprivation and excess, the self judgment.

My goal is not even seeing myself with absolute love, but to start with with just no judgment. Allowing my body to exist in detachment to my sense of worth. Knowing that healing this area of my life is part of healing the collective trauma of racism and sexism that teaches us that there is one form of appearance that is acceptable or even superior. That fails to acknowledge body/ appearance diversity

What is it going to be for you? Is it going to be taking your talent seriously enough to create a team around the expansion of your reach? Maybe it is allowing yourself the gift of clarity before you register for yet another qualification? Might it be for you, going all in, in the pursuit of the next level of leadership, impact and income?

Whatever it is that you are embarking on this year. I hope you allow yourself the support of a Coach because that’s a game changer. It doesn’t have to be myself, find one that speaks to you. But please give yourself the gift of investing in yourself. The gift of filling your cup first so there is more of you to give.

What are you going to gift to yourself in 2023?

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

What do you need to face up to in 2023?

What do you need to face up to in 2023?

What do you need to confront about yourself or your situation in 2023. What have you been avoiding that you need to trust yourself to be able to confront and resolve in 2023?

As we awaken to the realities of living and working while black; When we realise the odds that are stacked against us. We inevitably go through a phase of rage and victimhood. By victimhood I mean externalisation of all of our power. Of holding our advancement ransom to someone else’s recognition of our worth and the error of their ways.

What we struggle with acknowledging when we are deep in this victimhood state; is that we can hold people 100% accountable for their racism and sexism against us and simultaneously acknowledge our part in this dance; Where our power lies and ways we have given that away.

By waiting for ‘them’ to act right, by not leaving when we should, by not having the difficult conversations when we should, by not acknowledging our own worth and agency, by neglecting our own development, by being comfortable with calling people out, cancelling them.

By running when it’s time to do the difficult work of building and coexisting with those we are in disagreement with. Even when in their imperfections, they are willing to listen, to learn, to be disrupted.

What do you need to face up to what the circumstances in your life are reflecting the inner work that you need to do? With self compassion, no judgement or self shaming; Are you willing to take the first step? You don’t have to overwhelm yourself by plunging in, maybe all that’s required right now is to get your feet wet.

What do you need to face up to in 2023?

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

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What do you need to recommit to in 2023?

What do you need to recommit to in 2023?

I am not a fan of quiet quitting. It’s okay short-term but definitely not as a long term strategy. I think it works as part of an exit strategy but I do not believe that it is sustainable long term.

It’s human to want to do work that inspires us, that makes us feel like we are contributing to something bigger than us. Some of us need to have our heart in the work.

The challenge with having your heart in it, is that , when thinks are good, it feels really good and when it hurts, it breaks your heart. Those are the moments when we are tempted to quit for good.

There’s a season for everything, this is a season for new beginnings and renewing our commitments. I am challenging you to recommit. Retrace your steps to where you quit and recommit. Take it as slow and as fast as it feels right for you but do it .

I remember doing an interview for a podcast in 2021 and I said to the interviewer that I was done with my business, that I was no longer passionate about it. This was not the first time, I had quit. I have done this a few times since I had gone into business. Soon after this interview I recommitted and really went in hard and I’m reaping the rewards of that recommitment now.

What do you need to recommit to in 2023?

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

What is your call to courage in 2023?

What is your call to courage for 2023?

What is the one thing that is calling for your bravery this year? The thing that is calling you to do it afraid, to do it imperfectly, to risk looking stupid, to risk being rejected, to risk falling flat on your face?

My call to courage in 2022 was to leave the comfort and safety of a job I did well, that paid me decently and to commit to full time entrepreneurship. I endured feeling unsafe for a few weeks and was rewarded with the most growth in clients, leads, revenue, followers and engagement in less than 6 months than I had since I started the business 3 years ago and in my 8 years of entrepreneurship.

Yours might be to create a legacy making change in your leadership that will make some powerful people uncomfortable, it might be committing to pursuing that top leadership position as an underdog, it might be going for that stretch income goal or it might be building bridges of reconciliation. Only you know what is truly calling you.

Whatever it is, it’s going to require you to do what you’ve never done before and to be willing to do it imperfectly. When Trevor Noah was asked what his process is of learning accents; He said that the reason why kids learn languages faster is because they are willing to look stupid by mimicking. He says that’s how he learns languages by first learning accents, allowing himself to sound stupid as he mimicks the particular accent.

Brene Brown differentiates between perfectionism and striving for excellence. Perfectionism is armouring, protecting us from fully showing up. From starting where we are and allowing ourselves to go through the ‘learning curve’ where there are inefficiencies and imperfections.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

Are you willing to continually start anew

Are you willing to continually start anew?

We live in a world that is constantly changing at an even faster rate than ever. Technology is innovating at an even faster rate such that changes that took place in a period of decade, a century ago are way less than the amount of changes we experience in the same amount of time now.

Each technological advancement changes the ease of access to resources especially knowledge; which changes who we become, what’s possible for us and how we relate to each other.

There was a time when access to the scriptures was only available to the clergy which gave them power that was dissipated when translation, printing and distribution to the masses meant that anyone could read and reflect on the Bible.

The dawn of the internet created access to knowledge and connectivity that further distributed power to more people. For an example, it has become much easier , faster and cheaper to create a profitable business with just access to the internet, a device and social media.

We haven’t even fully figured out the impact of the pandemic in the way things work.

As a result, one has got to be willing to continuously assess what needs to change and be willing to change it. What worked 10 years ago may not work anymore. What worked at a certain level may not work for the next level.

You have to also be willing to assess who you are learning from. You cannot have Gurus that you follow without question. They may have the best intentions, may teach the truth that worked for them then but you have the responsibility to critically analyse if what they teach is still effective for the times and the level that you are in right now.

You have to be willing to start anew daily. You most power is located in the present moment. You can’t allow who you have been to get in the way of who you are becoming. You can’t allow how things used to work to get in the way of how things work right now. You have to be willing to try new ways, new tools, new paradigms.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

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Aren’t you tired of the start-stop-start cycle

Aren’t you tired of the start, stop, start cycle?

One of the reasons why our next level is often delayed is that we keep going through a cycle of pursing and giving up on achieving it.

We start with conviction and excitement, we set the goal and the strategy, we hit obstacles, give up.

Wander about for a couple of years, the desire comes back, we attempt it again with more knowledge and preparedness this time, we hit the next level of obstacles and give up again.

This time we may even convince ourselves that it was foolish and even irresponsible to have that goal. We should stop chasing waterfalls.

We may end up in a limbo, where we are just living a life that we tolerate. A desire that needs more and more intense numbing mechanisms.

The next level will always be above our current capabilities. It will always feel uncomfortable and uncertain.

We go through these cycles because we often do not allow ourselves to be supported.

You need someone to hold the vision steady while you navigate the complexities, the uncertainties, the obstacles. You will save yourself a lot of years of stumbling about.

The destination is guarantee if you stay the course. However the roadmap is often revealed one step at a time. The plan we have is often a place holder. The real plan that the Universe has, is usually different, illogical and is fraught with uncertainty. Give yourself the permission to be supported.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a Free 30 Minutes Career Strategy Session with me.

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