A solution for every problem

A solution for every problem

Not all problems need to be solved. Not all

problems need to be solved immediately, not all problems need to be solved by you alone, not all problems need to be solved by you, period.

Survivor’s guilt will have you running around trying to solve every one’s problems. Survivors guilt will have you be a shoulder to cry on, the voice of reason, the one who can always be counted on to swop in and solve.

There are times when you have to stand aside and allow people to go through what they need to go through to find their inner compass. To get in touch with their power, their higher selves, the one who knows the right way for them.

Sometimes you have to recognise that you are not the one to solve this problem. Not solving the problem is a way for you to liberate yourself from what your ego has been to you about; that your value is being an answer to everyone’s prayer, that your worth is in helping.

You are used to justifying your worth by what you can do for others. Standing aside allows you to find your inherent worth. You are worthy because you are not because of what you do. Liberate yourself.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

The Cure for the Saviour Complex

The Cure for the Saviour Complex

As people who come from lack, we often suffer from saviour a hero complex. When you are a child growing up in poverty, you may create a fantasy that you will one day grow up and save your family and community from suffering.

This is beautiful vision and a lofty mission. If it is not accompanied by other unhealthy habits of thought and of being such as enmeshment and lack of boundaries) It can lead to a life of purpose and impact.

When it is not, it can create an enmeshed relationship with those we want to help, such that we don’t know where we end and where they start. We can hold ourselves in lack and in sacrifice trying to lift them up. The result of that is that both of us are stuck.

You have to realise that you can invite them to a solution without needing to be in the trenches with them .You also can’t suffer enough for others to suffer less.

That keeping yourself from expansion because you want to take everyone with you, doesn’t make them expand it just keeps you stuck.

The cure for the Saviour or Hero complex is the realisation that you are not that powerful. That you cannot save others, you can help, you can encourage, you can contribute but the only person that you have agency over is yourself.

You have to give yourself the permission to save yourself and to give others the permission to find their way, their own power and choose their own path.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

Leaders lead at any level

Leader at any level

I remember this one day, many years ago. My then boss’s boss took me to the Executive to our department and told him how well I was doing, something around I’m moving so fast she’s struggling to keep up.

The Executive’s response was that leaders, lead from wherever they are, even if it is from behind.

What we are often are missing is less about capability but about fear of our own power. The fear of showing up, of raising our hands, of daring greatly; shows up as a fear of failure. But really it is the fear of our own power.

We dim our light and refuse to see our brilliance because we are waiting for someone to give us the permission to be our brilliant selves. When we can start where we are, while we reach for where we want to be.

What I’ve learned is that it is only once you perform and show up at a level higher than you are. When you have outgrown your current position that life has to elevate you.

Only you can give yourself the permission to elevate, and it starts by embracing your greatness.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact? Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

Relating in our full power

I don’t know if you’ve ever had an experience of flow with a team in the workplace. When each of your team members is operating from their genius and it feels like an orchestra. When there’s no need for competition, or ego, everyone feels good about what they do and how they get to do it. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing this and it is beautiful.

Moments like these rarely last for long because we believe a lie that there is a need to dominate. There is a need for one to be weak or shrink or be dominated for things to flow.

When we are not aware of our emotional capacity to handle differences of ways of being, of personality. We can live, relate with each other in and from our full power. Without needing to shrink or dominate .

That other people’s boundaries may trigger us but should not lead us to force them to be or do what we think they should do. That we can be accountable and responsible with our response.

That our boundaries may trigger others and we should allow them the space, responsibility and accountability to deal with their response to their triggers. Without needing to fix anything.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me. I guarantee you will leave with more energy and motivation to make this happen. See you soon.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

The power of a good cry

The power of a good cry

What I find fascinating with coaching clients is when they apologise for crying. I coach Black Women and crying is supposed to be a women’s thing but we have become so averse to crying. We have leaned so much into the masculine that we have given up the gift of crying.

I have observed two types of crying in this context. There’s the crying that comes from feeling like a victim. One who is in the mercy of other people’s actions and opinions. That’s okay as a start, but it cannot be the end.

After such a cry there comes an examination of your part in this. What is my part in this? How am I participating in my own oppression here? How are my patterns playing out in this situation?

This examination might be followed by the cry of realisation, acceptance, accountability and release. This cry signals the beginning of a new era of new beliefs, new behaviour, new patterns and new results.

When last have you had yourself a good cry?

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me. I guarantee you will leave with more energy and motivation to make this happen. See you soon.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

Coaching is a sacred work

Coaching is a sacred work. Coaches act as midwives to the birthing of a clients dream. We can’t feel your birthing pains for you, we can’t push the baby out for you. We serve as guides to your own truth, your own power. It is a privilege an honour and a great responsibility.

Most often clients come to me with a Career related problem. I am not getting a promotion, I have a great job, in a healthy workplace that pays me well but I feel stuck, there’s something missing, etc. Almost 100% of time the problem has very little to do with the actual career.

Often it is a life problem that is showing up in one’s career. My coaching clients are always surprised at how the coaching conversation turns out. Because we bring who we are into all areas of our lives.

The career related problem is a symptom of a deeper problem. When we bring awareness and sometimes resolution of the problem, the tactics are easier to implement.

The problems my clients face boil down to the following

⁃ Not giving themselves permission to know, want and to do what they really want to do

⁃ The fear of speaking their truth because of how it will affect others

⁃ Feeling inadequate or not good enough – internalised inferiority

⁃ An overactive inner critic that keeps them frozen and unable to make decisions

⁃ A Fear of being powerful and successful – being intimidated by their own success

⁃ A feeling of powerlessness over their destinies or what happened in the past, due to unacknowledged childhood wounds.

⁃ A fear of going into the unknown, and a settling for the uncomfortable present circumstances.

I honour every woman who takes the step of seeking support and sticks with it . Because who we are is a habit and addiction that the parts of us whose job is to protect us, will fight, destroy and do all it can to keep us from changing.

When a woman takes the step to sign-up for a coaching program, consistently does the work even when it gets hard cause it will. That is braving the wilderness, a commitment to one’s envisioned destiny. That is the accountability that comes with continued and sustainable success.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below or ⬇️ in the Bio ⬆️to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me. I guarantee you will leave with more energy and motivation to make this happen. See you soon.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

Working while foreign

Working while foreign

I don’t think we realise how difficult it is, for a second language Black person to thrive in a Eurocentric workplace, which no offence, is the culture or South Africa’s corporate. I’m not saying that should change. I am saying that Black people who did not receive education from multiracial schools should cut themselves some slack if they are struggling in this environment.

Just learning another language is not easy, it takes a child about 7 years to speak at a basic level. Many black people will probably have their first academic class in 100% English in their first year of University . Since people make friends with people they are comfortable with, if they never have a white friend in university; the first 100% English conversation they are going to have is at the workplace.

Another obstacle Black people face, is that we often measure confidence by how assertive and outspoken a person is. We talk about negotiating for a salary raise and a promotion; about self promotion and articulating your transferable skills, making bold legacy changing decisions, etc

For a Black African woman, these are the same things she has and continues to be told they are shameful behaviours (uyaphapha, uyadelela, uyaqhoma.)

The same measures of success in a Eurocentric workplace are a shameful behaviours in most African cultures.

When one works in an environment where, who they are and how they do things is foreign. It takes more and often longer for that person to thrive, to feel and be seen as capable; the imposter syndrome is real.

So cut yourself some slack if your first leadership position happens only when you are in your forties as compared to the young Black woman who studied abroad and is the youngest executive at 28. Ignore the white person who insists on correcting your grammar instead of listening to the core message. Forgive yourself for not speaking up when you could have because you blanked and the ‘right words’ didn’t come.

You are working while foreign. In a culture whose nuances you are still learning and you are doing great .

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below ⬇️ to book a 30 Minutes ‘3 stage plan to achieving your goals session’ with me.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

A career midlife crisis

A Career Mid-life crisis

It is a career equivalent of a mid life crisis. It often happens when most of what you have wanted to achieve has been achieved and you can feel yourself being less and less engaged.

I noticed it when it happened at the same time with my friend and I. We were good at what we were doing, getting the recognition, living in the shiny apartment, driving what was once our dream cars, but

something was wrong, we didn’t want what we thought we wanted now that we had it.

I’m noticing that with my clients that it is happening earlier and earlier in their careers. Like me, because they came from poor families, they chose careers that were expected to be financially lucrative. They were going to be the heroes who will take their families out of poverty.

Now that they’ve ’made it’. They made career choices for the ‘heroine’ in them and not for who they truly are. Or maybe the career choices were great for who they were then, and not who they are now.

The reason it becomes a Career midlife crisis is that they feel stuck between what is calling them and what they ‘should’ do. Mainly because so many people depend on them. Not just financially but also on them maintaining the image of who they are. Who they are in their careers is how they get approval.

It is also scary to live the known for the unknown. ‘ The dark night of the soul’ happens when they are called to build the resilience to let go of the external approval and to bring the approval internally; so they can live lives of integrity, not of self-sacrifice and people pleasing.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below ⬇️ to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me. I guarantee you will leave with more energy and motivation to make this happen. See you soon.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

For other ways to connect:

https://linktr.ee/Blackwomenintheworkplace

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

Burn out is a sign of misalignment

Burn out is a sign of misalignment

I believe that life is always working for us. Everything that happens to us, is in service to our highest purpose. Burn out or exhaustion is not always a sign that you need a holiday, maybe it is. But it is not just that.

Energy is unlimited. Really. I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where you were exhausted, practically dragging yourself. Then your favourite person, a performance, a place energises you so much that you forgot you were tired. The question becomes were you tired or were you misaligned?

Burn out is a sign that something is not aligned, that what you are doing no longer works. Some of the reasons for your burn out might be

⁃ You are over proving yourself by micro managing, overworking, over performing to prove your worth

⁃ Your boundaries are not in place, whether it is with your loved ones, friends or colleagues

⁃ You are suppressing an issue or problem that needs resolving because you are scared that it will ruffle some feathers

⁃ You are armoured up for a fight every day you go to work in a toxic environment and it’s no longer working

What needs to align in your life so you can get your energy back?

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below ⬇️ to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me. I guarantee you will leave with more energy and motivation to make this happen. See you soon.

https://koalendar.com/e/meet-with-busisiwe-hlatswayo

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel

You are not stuck, you are called to pay attention

You are not stuck, you are called to pay attention.

I hear this a lot: ‘ I feel stuck in my career’. ‘I’m stuck in a job I no longer enjoy’. ‘My job is not toxic, I work with great people and do great work but I just feel stuck.’

Whenever I or the women that I coach feel stuck, it is usually because we are called to the next level. We’ve learnt all we needed to learn, experienced all we needed to experience and now it is time for a new adventure.

Being stuck is often an inner battle between the parts of us that feel safe – not necessarily comfortable with the way things are, but safe and the part of us that knows the amazing experiences that are in store for us if we say yes to life.

Being stuck is an invitation, to bring to the light the resistance that we feel towards changing, moving, leaving, leaping or shifting. It’s about knowing that we can handle what we are afraid to look at. That we do not have to say no to what calls us, but rather to give attention to what holds us back. So we can release its resistance, it’s hold on our progress.

Are you a Black Woman in the Workplace who feels called to the next level of leadership, income and impact?

Click the Link below ⬇️ to book a 30 Minutes 3 stage plan to achieving your goals session with me. I guarantee you will leave with more energy and motivation to make this happen. See you soon.

#blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel #blackwomeninleadership #blackwomenintech #blackwomeninstem #blackgirlsrock #blackwomenrock #blackwomenintheworkplace#leadership #nextlevel